Door To Hell

Movie Review: Dan in Real Life, In Bruges, Tales of Despereaux, Shortbus

Should have been posted before below post.

Scale (1-Disliked, 2-Liked, but wouldn't recommend, 3-Liked and recommend, 4- Really Liked, Highly Recommend)

Shortbus - A Justin recommendation.  Interesting to say the least, I think I like Justin's story about the film better than the film itself.  Lots of graphic sexual scenes, not that that's a bad thing, unless they are of guys sucking themselves off.  It was OK, I didn't really ever dislike it, but I never really felt like I got it.  Mike probably wouldn't like it but Joe might.  I give it a 2.

Tales of Despereaux - Kids movie.  I will say though, that the designation of "Kids movie" does not disqualify a movie from being entertaining or good, see "Ratatouille."  However, this movie was pretty mediocre.  The graphics were good but the plot convoluted, especially for a "Kids movie."  I give it a 2.

In Bruges - This came as a recommendation from my buddy Scotty.  I never really heard of it and had little expectations except for the synopsis I read and the recommendation as a dark comedy that I would enjoy.  Well I really enjoyed it, BUT not at first.  It moves from a 2 movie to a 3 movie to a possible 4 movie as the plot accelerates and the dialogue gets much better as well, by the end of the movie I was like that was damn good.  Plus, the setting of Bruges makes me want to visit someday, remember from High School English that the setting can be a character/antagonist/protagonist (never thought I would bring Ron Gabriel/Bill Novak wisdom).  Also you can never go wrong incorporating midgets in your movies (take note Joe for future screenplays).  I give it a 3 bordering on a 4 (so a 3.7, although this violates my simple rating system, I will make an exception.  At least until I have more time to digest it because I just finished watching it.)  I think Justin and Joe may like it and Mike, well I'm not sure.  Mike, I think if you endure about half way through you'd really like it because there is some funny/witty dialogue and good scenes.

Dan In Real Life - This is a perfect example of an actor carrying a movie.  I like Steve Carrell, in the same way I love Ben Stiller.  Something about their persona I find really funny.  So pretty much any Ben Stiller or Steve Carrell movie, I like.  This movie has kind of a dumb plot, a pretty unrealistic plot, the love story is really unbelievable or at least underdeveloped but I still liked it and laughed a shitload.  Because of Steve Carrell.  If you put Ben Affleck, Owen Wilson or any other Romantic Comedy guy in there, the movie fails, but with Carrell it really made me laugh and forget the bullshit part about it.  I give it a 3.

Coming Soon:

Raiders of The Lost Ark (watching this with everyone, kids haven't seen it.  Probably won't write anything unless my viewing experience has changed dramatically within the last 15 years.  By the way, it can happen.  I have a better appreciation for E.T. after seeing it now than when I did when I was a kid.  I think I enjoyed it more as an adult.)
Beowulf
The Hunting Party (A Joe recommendation)

Still open to any recommendations.  Mike, I'm really in the mood for some good hockey comedies, know of any?

Cinema Review: 6 Movies

Scale (1-Disliked, 2-Liked, but wouldn't recommend, 3-Liked and recommend, 4- Really Liked, Highly Recommend)

Quite a few movies on this one.

Beowulf - I knew this had CGI or whatever but I was really shocked by how much it felt like a cartoon, a brutally violent cartoon at that.  I never read Beowulf or really had any idea what it was about but the movie was entertaining...and I guess that's the extent of my critique - It was entertaining.  I can't really comment on any actor performances or cinematography, because there was none.  But if you're just looking for a good action flick in a cartoonish medium, then go for it.  My rating is a 2.

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark - Watching this again after many years and I believe it stands up well through the test of time.  Probably my favourite Indiana Jones movie.  In fact watching it now as an adult I think I caught on to more of the archaelogical shit, which made it more interesting.  Whereas when I was a kid I liked the action and the shitty humour.  My rating is a 3.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop - The kids love this shit.  I hate this shit.  Seriously one of the worst movies and humour I've seen in a long fucking time.  I'm not a Kevin James fan but I at least thought the guy had some sense if so many people liked him.  Not funny at all even if I delved deeply to try and find my 8 year old self, I think he would agree.  My rating is a 1.

Friday the 13th (New 2008 or 2009 version) - Again another horrible movie that I could barely finish because somehow I got distracted.  If you can get distracted for even a moment in a horror or suspense movie, then that is a problem.  Never a huge fan of Friday the 13th in the first place, but I do like the occasional schmaltzy horror movie, if for at least reminiscing when this stuff did scare me.  The only reason to like this movie is for Tits from hot ass girl campers, who's fate is destined at the hands of Jason.  My ratins is once again a 1.

Willow - Got this for the kids, and again a movie I am watching as an adult.  I liked it better as a kid.  It's not that it's bad, it's pretty decent.  I can see where it gets the comparison as a fantasy Star Wars.  I think I would compare it more though to the new Star Wars, especially with the Brownies characters (think Jar-Jar Binks).  Val Kilmer probably should have passed and left this for Rutger Hauer or something...would've probably been better for his career resume.  My rating a 2.

Pineapple Express - Chalky humour.  Lots of pot jokes and so on.  Is funny only if you're a bottle of wine deep while watching (which I was).  I gotta admit, I really like watching comedies a LOT more now than ever in my life.  I like laughing at dumb shit, so this my taint my review.  But still I think Pineapple Express, while it does have some moments, as a whole is very mediocre.  Especially since I have higher expectations from that team of writers and actors.  My rating a 2.

Overall a pretty blase movie viewing experience this last week or two.  Hopefully I will have something better to write about next time. 
Upcoming:

The Hunting Party - Joe recommendation
Speed Racer
Irreversible - Supposedly "SHOCKING" French Film.

Cinema Review: "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"

Usually like these to go out with bulk reviews but I am bored, so:

Have any of you seen "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"?

Well, I have.  In fact I saw it last night, and it lasted ALL night, 2hr 49min to be exact.  I gotta say it gets a 2 on my scale (1-Disliked, 2-Liked, but wouldn't recommend, 3-Liked and recommend, 4- Really Liked, Highly Recommend).

First, nothing was as good as it was ramped up to be.  The cinemotography was good, everybody acclaims the train robbery scene, but not all that.  In fact I'm more moved by the "western scenes" that turn out to be filmed in Italy in old spaghetti westerns than I am by these.  The plot is very slow moving, some will say intentionally but I nodded off at one point, NOT GOOD.  This is one of those movies that is OK but is latched onto by the critic zeitgeist (aka Joe) and loved.  I didn't hate it but I've seen better.  To call it the best Western since "Unforgiven" is unforgivable.